Imperfection
My mind? Jumbled. I am more forgetful these days, and sillier. I stim in front of people that make me feel safe. My mood is up and down, all day, every day, and I am always trying so hard to stay stable. Determining if little things happened in real life or a dream has gotten harder. I get lost in things so quickly and thoroughly but can't articulate the simplest ideas without my brain short-circuiting. It's fine, you know. I don't need people to notice or understand. I myself don't want to make sense of my thoughts. I'm not paralyzing myself to worry about things I have no control over (other people's emotions opinions trauma problems everything). I don't feel guilty for forgetting something important at the store, I don't apologize for the slightest mishap anymore, I don't make my chest hurt just to stick to tight self-imposed deadlines. I don't need to pour every second of consciousness into someone else. I don't feel bad taking up space even when I'm alone. I don't feel the need to be perfect. I'm finally free, and I'm never going back.